Regrets…I’ve had a few. Haven’t we all?
In my last post, I talked about what I learned while being “out of favor.” What I need to share now is what I learned from the things I did wrong…and what I wish I’d done differently during that period.
Being out of favor can be brutal. It was for me. I was confused about how the winds of favor had changed and I wasn’t sure why. That confusion plunged me into an emotional pit and I did not harness my emotions. I was shocked by how emotional I was in the midst of it. After seven highly tenured staff in my department were laid off, I was told to not be “so emotional.” How could I not feel the pain?
I made mistakes that cost me professionally. And there are three pieces of career advice I’d like to share that capture what I wish I’d done differently. Perhaps they can help you if you ever find yourself in a situation like mine.
Up Your Meds
I remember going to my doctor and with tears streaming down my face, I told her I felt like a loser at work. She told me I wasn’t a loser and she increased my antidepressant dosage. And that made a huge difference, but that was after I had already lit the match that sparked the beginning of the end. What I didn’t realize was that my chemical imbalance mixed with my situation was like pouring gasoline on a fire. When I needed to be my strongest emotionally and mentally in my career, I didn’t have it in me.
And that cost me.
For me, my chemical imbalance made things harder for me. And, perhaps you don’t have the same issue, but my advice to you is do whatever it takes to be your very best when the winds of favor shift. Work out, get rest, go to a counselor, eat right, see your doctor. Invest in your well-being so you can make better choices. I didn’t until it was too late.
Shut the Heck Up!
My feelings led to my actions. And I did not act professionally in all my written and verbal communication.
And that cost me. A lot.
If there’s ever a time to do be 100 percent above reproach, it’s when you’re out of favor. Whatever once was true in your workplace, is no longer true. Whatever grace you experienced for your idiosyncrasies is gone. Whoever you could once trust…not any more. Whatever freedom you once had to just be you….poof!
My mom would tell me “less is more.” If only I’d listened!
There’s another side of “shut the heck up!” It’s not just about being uber professional in all your communication, it’s also stop complaining about your situation and just lean in to God’s refining work. Belly-aching about issues only made me feel worse. (See Up Your Meds!)
Listen to Your Mom
Or your spouse. Or your friend. Or your counselor. Or your pastor. You’re going to need someone you can confide in–just one person instead of several (See Shut the Heck Up!). You’ll need a safe place to vent, but this person needs to be someone who will speak truth to you. And hold you accountable.
That was my mom. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my morning calls to her and her wise advice along the way. (And, to be honest, if I’d listened to her earlier, I would’ve saved myself some pain.)
So those are the three key things I learned–the hard way. I hope, somehow, you’ll gain some insight from my experience and lessons. That will make all the pain even more worth it. Because after all, God never wastes our pain.
