christineyountjones.com

Category: Blogging

  • A Peek Inside Our Quarantine

    A Peek Inside Our Quarantine

    It’s Day 10. Only four more days left of our quarantine. No symptoms. A little stir crazy, but very thankful to be back in the U.S. (from our trip to Italy) and healthy. We’re horrified by what is happening in Italy and around the world. We keep thinking of the sweet people we met there. And we pray. Of course, like everyone else, we read the news. And we pray.

    This sweet woman fixed our breakfast every morning at our last hotel. Kindly serving, she called me Madam. We wonder how she is. Is she quarantined like us? How are the others?

    What’s It Like in Quarantine?

    To be honest, it’s not that bad. We’re grateful for our city’s delivery infrastructure. We’ve had groceries delivered. Just leave it on the porch and ring the bell. Amazon and USPS have delivered. They just leave it on the porch anyway. We finally realized the other night that we could order from Uber Eats and have a nice meal.

    Like I said. We’re not suffering. If we’re missing anything, it’s little things. Like a Route 44 Diet Limeade from Sonic. So we’re making them at home. Fresh limes and Diet Sprite have filled my craving. Canned Diet Coke for the hubby.

    Our views are spectacular! If we’re going to be confined to quarters, it’s nice that we have amazing views. Ya, that’s Pikes Peak we’re looking at.

    Thankfully, I’m able to work from home. I’m very grateful for this. And Ray has got plenty to keep him busy. And church is accessible online.

    We miss church. We miss gathering with people on Sunday morning. We miss taking communion. We miss worship. And we look forward to being back. We haven’t had to miss the teaching, though. Thankfully, we attend a church that livestreams its services each Sunday. So we sit in our living room and watch the service. It’s not the same, but we’re grateful.

    So we’re doing fine…in case you wanted to know. And, hopefully, you won’t have to dread a quarantine if you should have to endure it.

    A little Netflix. A lot of Facebook and Instagram. And online shopping helps a lot. Long neglected cleaning is happening. And forgotten projects. Good books. A good man. Oh and, of course, a good dog.

    It’s survivable. And we’re grateful.

    Read about our last trip. There was no quarantine on return, by the way.

  • Shadow Family…Life in Our Step Family

    Shadow Family…Life in Our Step Family

    Our step family is a shadow of what once was. It is a specter of what could be. It is a reminder of broken shards of the families that could have been.

    Our step family is holidays with half our hearts. It is reunions with absent guests.

    Our step family is an imitation of what we think could have been. What should have been. It is an unreal comparison to perfection. It is a dim reflection of what we dream family should be.

    It is pain. It is grief. It is a cyclical reminder that we are not whole.

    Our children want what they once had. My kids want their father. They want their children’s grandfather. His children want their family before it imploded.

    And if we’re completely honest, we want the same thing.

    As much as we love and want each other, we long for wholeness. We want the dream…as though there is such a thing. We want what was intact before death and divorce shattered it.

    We want one holiday that is not a reminder of the separateness of the two sides of our family. We want one holiday that we manage without the awkwardness of relationships that were forged in the fire of loss.

    Grief is our guest at every family gathering because the people who should be here are not. We try. We ache. We grieve.

    We do our best. It is all we have.

  • Pssst….I Was Wrong…Career Advice From My Mistakes While Being “Out of Favor”

    Pssst….I Was Wrong…Career Advice From My Mistakes While Being “Out of Favor”

    Regrets…I’ve had a few.  Haven’t we all?

    In my last post, I talked about what I learned while being “out of favor.” What I need to share now is what I learned from the things I did wrong…and what I wish I’d done differently during that period.

    Being out of favor can be brutal. It was for me. I was confused about how the winds of favor had changed and I wasn’t sure why. That confusion plunged me into an emotional pit and I did not harness my emotions. I was shocked by how emotional I was in the midst of it. After seven highly tenured staff in my department were laid off, I was told to not be “so emotional.” How could I not feel the pain?

    I made mistakes that cost me professionally. And there are three pieces of career advice I’d like to share that capture what I wish I’d done differently. Perhaps they can help you if you ever find yourself in a situation like mine.

    Up Your Meds

    I remember going to my doctor and with tears streaming down my face, I told her I felt like a loser at work. She told me I wasn’t a loser and she increased my antidepressant dosage. And that made a huge difference, but that was after I had already lit the match that sparked the beginning of the end. What I didn’t realize was that my chemical imbalance mixed with my situation was like pouring gasoline on a fire. When I needed to be my strongest emotionally and mentally in my career, I didn’t have it in me.

    And that cost me.

    For me, my chemical imbalance made things harder for me. And, perhaps you don’t have the same issue, but my advice to you is do whatever it takes to be your very best when the winds of favor shift. Work out, get rest, go to a counselor, eat right, see your doctor. Invest in your well-being so you can make better choices. I didn’t until it was too late.

    Shut the Heck Up!

    My feelings led to my actions. And I did not act professionally in all my written and verbal communication.

    And that cost me. A lot.

    If there’s ever a time to do be 100 percent above reproach, it’s when you’re out of favor. Whatever once was true in your workplace, is no longer true. Whatever grace you experienced for your idiosyncrasies is gone. Whoever you could once trust…not any more. Whatever freedom you once had to just be you….poof!

    My mom would tell me “less is more.” If only I’d listened!

    There’s another side of “shut the heck up!” It’s not just about being uber professional in all your communication, it’s also stop complaining about your situation and just lean in to God’s refining work. Belly-aching about issues only made me feel worse. (See Up Your Meds!)

    Listen to Your Mom

    Or your spouse. Or your friend. Or your counselor. Or your pastor. You’re going to need someone you can confide in–just one person instead of several (See Shut the Heck Up!). You’ll need a safe place to vent, but this person needs to be someone who will speak truth to you. And hold you accountable.

    That was my mom. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my morning calls to her and her wise advice along the way. (And, to be honest, if I’d listened to her earlier, I would’ve saved myself some pain.)

    So those are the three key things I learned–the hard way. I hope, somehow, you’ll gain some insight from my experience and lessons. That will make all the pain even more worth it. Because after all, God never wastes our pain.